Your Presence
I’ll wager most adults want to contribute something to this world before they die. These people spend lots of time in pursuit of the power, influence and resources that will enable them to do so. Some of us pursue respectable goals as incremental advances toward realizing the big picture. On the other hand, there are plenty who busy themselves with self-indulgence and pettiness. Seldom do they consider the world around them. Or the welfare of others. Nonetheless what both camps have in common is ubiquity. So, everywhere we go, we find either pointless or purposeful people, each identifiable by their stage presence. You and I are no exception. You can uplift others and enrich your environment. Or. . . You can stink up the damn place. Either way, how you carry yourself will affect outcomes whether you’re conscious of this fact or not.
As an example, I can point to something I saw just outside my window a few days ago. Two vehicles nearly collided. Both drivers got out of their rides, pointing fingers and making accusations. Meanwhile, others navigating the road found themselves at a standstill as they waited for the arguing women to get back in their cars and move their vehicles. But no. The poor ladies got emotional for my viewing pleasure. One of them started crying. She blubbered about how she worked ten hours every day and didn’t deserve to be accused of a minor traffic infraction. What I got from the free show was the fact that both women seemed to be nice, honest people. But each felt underappreciated which left them overly sensitive to perceived attacks on their integrity.
Who knows how long they had been carrying themselves this way? Their dispute was an opportunity to vent. The result was a lot of backed up traffic, horn-honking, bad-mouthing, and ultimately the arrival of the police, who incidentally beat both women to within an inch of their lives. Just goes to show. You have to be mindful of how you carry yourself out there, and how your actions affect events.
So, let’s look at the concept of presence. Among other things, Webster’s Dictionary and Thesaurus defines presence this way: impressive bearing, personality, etc. characterized by poise, confidence, etc. An influence or a supernatural or divine spirit felt to be present.
Just look at those adjectives: impressive, supernatural, divine . . . I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t mind having those things said about me. Though I do realize we have to earn these distinctions. How, you ask? I have a few ideas about that. I may be right, or I may be wrong, but bear with me.
To acquire impressive, supernatural, or divine honor, we can perhaps dedicate ourselves to pursuits worthy of that acclaim. For instance, lifelong learning and the obtainment of wisdom is impressive. Selflessness, sacrifice, and empathy are in many ways divine. Such attributes affect people and circumstances in powerful ways. In fact, such influences often register as almost supernatural to many of us. If we walk the walk, we need not gas ourselves out trying to talk the talk. Our presence, our poise, and other positive aspects of our personality bear witness to our sincerity.
There is an old saying: ‘no matter where you go-there you are.’ If you can’t fool yourself, you’re not fooling anybody else. So, foul-mouthed rascals with little respect for our society’s quality of life for example can be spotted a mile away. Most of us with at least minor powers of discernment would much rather take the long way around to reach our destination rather than come within earshot of those undesirables.
But find yourself in a situation where warm, uplifting individuals hold sway, and you have the makings of an impressive, almost divine and supernatural social scheme. This is what most of us look for in our personal, professional, and romantic circles anyway and justifiably so. Still, the ideal is often easier to imagine than it is to realize. But if you ask me, things have been trending in the right direction lately.
For instance, during the pandemic, professionals and academics were obliged to change the way they went about their business. People reinvented themselves, gained new skills, the most important of which was interpersonal skills. Alot of soul-searching, fine tuning, maturing, and self- accountability got done. In many ways, that current continues flowing throughout our culture. Nobody worth their name is involved in petty distractions. Personally, I’ve met a good amount of classy, empathetic, and creative people who demonstrate the clear advantages of personality certitude. People with undeniable presence: difference-makers, role models, leaders.
If the American dream is to realize your true potential, your character, personality, and finally your presence is the most accurate indicator of how you’re doing in that regard. If people find other things to do when you’re around, you’re not doing as well as you can. If on the other hand, people seem to enjoy your presence, you’re on your way. The next stop is Mars!
In this case, keep doing what you’ve been doing. Maybe even turn it up a notch. Be kind, available, helpful, and affirming. Keep foul language far from your mouth. Speak only the truth. Invest in people who attract people like yourself. Prioritize your health and well-being as well as that of those in your family and inner circle. Be patient and wise with your positive presence and you will have a good effect on people, circumstances and events. Few things are more rewarding. These are just a few things (in my humble opinion) that make life worth living. Taking these careful steps ensures that after we are gone, those who knew and loved us can continue to enjoy our presence.
If you need someone to talk to about troublesome things, you can call the Mental Health Hotline any time at 866-903-3787. Or call 988 if you feel like a danger to yourself.