Words and Actions

More than anything, this is a memo to myself. My hope is that you’ll find it useful as well. I’ve been thinking of words and actions. One supports the other. I don’t feel like a hypocrite reckoning with himself. I mean, when I give my word, nine times out of ten I follow through. That’s not the issue. What I’ve been thinking about though is the raw functions of words and actions. We need to be careful. Spoken words affect people and events with as much force as actions do. And our actions themselves are sometimes remarkably hasty, preceding words. On other occasions they may even be informed by words we never speak. Both “actions” can drive circumstances in any direction. Invariably, they conjure unique thoughts and behavior from other people. For better or worse.

So, words should be used wisely. And actions require coaching by functional knowledge and understanding. So that we can pursue the most effective course of behavior. If the timing is improper though we should avoid any speech or activity that could only complicate matters. If we know that for some reason we are not capable of a thing, we should not use any language that suggests we are. For example, it would not be cool for me to chew a stranger’s ear off about how loyal a friend I could be, then to ignore his calls or abandon the commitments I’ve made.

One hand washes the other. Both are clean when words are clear, measurable, and conform to focused intentions. Rounding that off, our actions in the final analysis must strike the targets we intend to strike as well. These precautions will leave no haze about our respective honesty and abilities.

Most human action does not occur in a vacuum. More often than not, somebody either benefits or is victimized by another’s words or actions. Also, we share in the experiences of others through sympathy and imagination. So, while bad taste and haste can have a domino effect, foresight in speech and behavior draws forth rewards, opportunities, and optimism. All the more reason for close attention to what we say and do.

Back to those thoughts we might keep to ourselves. Here’s one problem with that. Secret ideas and sentiments can lead to actions that may justifiably fall under scrutiny. Especially if we’re passionate. Sometimes we won’t act on private ideas for years. Then one day, everything boils over. Naturally, we erupt in some fashion harmful to us or someone else. We might have been right in thinking our secrets were unsuitable for most audiences. So, we kept them in. But they might have best been employed as honest words committed to a close and honest friend or relative. Somebody who could listen, advise, and indirectly raise the proper behavior from us. In that respect opening our mouths when necessary can save us from ourselves.

Form this observation we can glimpse two conversation cultures. One of these is a dialogue we carry on with those closest to us. The other we employ in interactions with the world beyond our comfort zone. It has to be that a man or woman with an ear bent toward understanding reaches their goals and desires through honesty in both domains. What do you think?

I’m not going to get all self-righteous on your ass, but it has been written in Proverbs; A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Note the beauty of that imagery. Saying the right thing at the right time can literally be the difference between someone’s pleasure or pain. Sometimes even life and death. So, for my part, I’m going to think before I speak. And consult my best self before any important action. I hope others are inclined to do the same.

The world is a stage. Humanity is our audience. Words and actions determine our performance today and for the foreseeable future. They should be measured, weighed and balanced. That precaution helps us cultivate ourselves. Consequently, we can trust ourselves, rely on our skills, withstand scrutiny and expand our influence. If we avoid that course, life will trend in the opposite direction. We’ll have little or negative influence over people and events. Constantly falling under scrutiny, we won’t even be able to trust ourselves. Our growth will be stunted as our words and actions are clearly imbalanced. The audience will boo us off the stage.

Just look at this example. There is an addicted woman who has two children under five. One boy, one girl. She brings them to the park and lets them go crazy. All the better for her since she can consult with other addicts while her kids are distracted. Of course she is responsible for her children’s health, happiness, and world view. But her poor choices impede her ability to faithfully perform her role as a responsible mother. She takes them to the park for play and quality time but abandons them in favor of her derelict cronies. People who can only impart dysfunctional logic on her kids.

If this is obvious to anyone watching her in a public park, imagine how much more blatant her inadequacies are at home where she orchestrates her children’s lives. Her mistakes are already causing them to cry deeply, complain often, and second guess her without a second thought. As they mature, it’s inevitable their missteps and mistakes informed by their half-ass upbringing will mar their own performances. Their mom’s actions are disappointing and confusing. So, much of what she says has little value to them. They’re already booing and throwing things at her. Literally.

The lack of equilibrium in the lives of this addicted mom and her perceptive offspring is informative. It demonstrates the lasting power of words and deeds. These effects reverberate throughout our lives and the lives of those who come after us. That’s why it’s so crucial that we exemplify balanced actions and ideas in the presence of those who would look to us for honesty and guidance. So, they will be good people. Refined and cultured, they can happily contribute to the world in which they find themselves. They will assume the roles for which they have been well prepared. In that case, a standing ovation would be appropriate. So, let’s be careful with what we say and do. A whole world is watching.

Once again, all the above is a reminder to myself. But if these words are helpful to anyone else as well, my actions will have struck the intended targets. Thanks for the time and consideration.

Having difficulty finding words for troubling thoughts? Do you feel like life is out of balance? Uncertain of which actions would be the best next steps? You have the option of speaking to someone at the Mental Health Hotline by calling 866-903-3787 anytime. Or if you are really on the edge you can call 988. Anytime.