Conviction precedes luck

I have two friends. Actually, more than two. But the two I’m thinking of are the subjects of today’s study. These two friends had a dream in common. Both were passionate about being successful musicians. That’s where the similarities ended though. One believed his dream would come true no matter what. The other wasn’t sure.

Danny’s the one who believed in a bright future. Even though, honestly speaking, he started his career with average talent. Yet he was positive, lighthearted and determined to succeed. Chuck on the other hand was born with natural talent in abundance. Yet he was a fool for falling on hard times.

One day, I even introduced the two and they set out to record together. But as fate would have it, they didn’t get along. Each had their own ideas about production style and subject matter. Before you knew it they were politely, but strongly disagreeing. The next time I met with each of them individually, they griped about the other’s mannerisms and lack of professionalism. One was marching his band up the wrong street while the other was raining on his parade. They never worked together again.

So, it wasn’t long before I recognized their hearts and minds were diametrically opposed. I tell this brief story as an apt example of mind over matter. It clearly demonstrates one thing. And that is that whether you think about life optimistically or pessimistically, you’re mind is the fine-tuned instrument of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or as it’s been said before, ‘whether you think you can, or you think you can’t - either way, you’re right.’

As capable as Chuck was, he had always been prone to negative thinking. When I first met him, he believed in a God. Years later, following one disappointment after the next (most self-induced), he began to curse his maker. And it’s not that I think belief in a God is a prerequisite for optimism. But it’s a good reinforcer. When Chuck ceased to believe in his God, he deviated from the idea of his fellow sentient beings being invested with any worthwhile qualities. He chose to believe in a world where nothing was or would ever be fair or good. In such a world, nothing could be salvaged. Nobody was worth any more than all-out skepticism or at best what they could do for you when you needed them.

He seemed to be on a mission now to prove just how bad life could be. And he was determined to use his own experiences as the best example of that. Sometimes he could win you over by telling you, “I’ll be working with this new producer next week. Hopefully everything will work out.” And you’d think, “Good for Chuck. It sounds like something’s finally going his way.” But without fail, a week or two later he’d report back, “Yeah man, they didn’t want to pay me what I’m worth. You can’t trust nobody these days. It’s all bullshit . . .” And so on and so on.

I realized against my fondness for an old friend that he wasn’t likely to change his attitude. Chuck was his own worst enemy. Everything kept going wrong in his life as if by magic. But this resulted from his well-honed craft of sour thinking. Outside of musicianship, ruining himself was his greatest gift. He did it effortlessly.

Ultimately it became tough work being in his company. And so, Chuck became, as my mother likes to say, ‘one of those people you have to love from a distance.’ Having eventually isolated himself from friends and family, he earned the nickname, ‘bubble boy.’

Danny though, didn’t just have artistic aspirations alone. He remained outspoken about a better world for everyone in it. His belief in a bountiful future pulled people into his orbit. Friends, family and colleagues saw the value in his vision. We flocked to his cause and pitched in however we could. Encouraged by his confidence, role players in the industry were pleased to work with him. He made everyone feel good about themselves.

In this way, he secured access to state-of-the-art studios, plotted his own course with original music, and managed his time accordingly. It wasn’t long before he was a formidable producer and thoughtful songwriter. And as it’s been said, he didn’t have to work a single day in his life because he was doing what he loved. Today, his platform is augmented by social media, the internet, and other advances in communication. Chuck is still a good guy with a crystal-clear vision of humanity. He’s still willing to learn and equally willing and able to mentor others. He’s victorious and well entrenched in the world he wants to be in.

As for the bubble boy, eventually (and thankfully) he got so far down on his luck that he realized the only direction he could go from there was up. From our silence he learned that his friends didn’t approve of his negative conversation. So, he toned it down. He even listened to our rejections of the fatalistic world view he’d become known for. We made it clear to him how we thought that the kind of luck a person has in any situation is determined by the mind-set they bring to that situation.

This was all news to Chuck. He soaked it up like a painter experimenting with new colors. We kept an eye out for the usual negative statement to follow any announcements he made concerning the music business. But he surprised us all. He finally learned to handle us more carefully. He spared us the poison of pessimism. We started encouraging him again instead of having to ignore him which had always been difficult for us.

I haven’t seen Chuck in two years or so. But when we speak, it’s typically an agreeable conversation. In fact, the last I heard from him, he was somewhere south working with a group of young artists. And he was happy with the money which was coming in steadily. In fact, the only negative item in our discussion was his mention of his new girlfriend, an eccentric writer. He said, “She wears rubber-duckie earrings man! She has rubber-duckies hanging from her ears!”

Personally, I considered that cause for a thoughtful pause. But I didn’t fan the flames. All I said was, “That’s different.” And Chuck brushed it off too. He just kept gushing about how well things were going. I was proud of the dude. He’d once lost sight of the best in himself by bringing out the worst in himself. Now the situation was completely reversed. His oldest, most formidable antagonist was now bound and kept secured under lock and key. His outlook today is brightened by the most brilliant tones I’ve ever know him to use in describing our world.

If the bubble boy could burst his own bubble and rejoin the world on positive terms, indeed anyone could. He shows how anything is possible when the mind is properly employed. Danny and Chuck. I’m happy those dudes are my buddies. They prove that without a doubt, conviction precedes luck.

If you’re having trouble finding value in the world or in your life, you can always call the Mental Health Hotline at 866-903-3787. Or call 988.